The Porcelain Doll
by athemina
Summary: She thought she had it all  the looks, the social life, the best friends... That is, until one boy shatters her heart, leaving another to pick up the pieces. [SBxOC] [JPxLE] [OCxOC]
1. The Past

I sat there. Just sat. Hero was at Uncle Noah's house and, though I knew he was not safe (nor was she as she was just another descendant of the Rennis bloodline), I couldn't think of them. Not now. Not when everything was rolling downhill. _He_ would pay for this. I would make sure of it. Just not now. Perhaps not even sometime soon. I just knew he would pay. He needed to. It was the least he could do.

I was sitting in the backyard of what was once the Rennis family household. Now all it was was a heavy reminder of the emptiness that had consumed the place. The house reeked of old memories. Joyful ones that I wanted to come alive again. I sighed. It was no fair. I wanted to see them again even if it was just a few minutes, just one more time.

The cruel way we were torn apart, it wasn't fair. I never got the chance to say goodbye. I wanted to run into Dad's arms. I wanted to race Chase and Ryan around the backyard on our brooms even if we were all using the same ancient, low-class ones. To run around freely playing pranks with my friends and to have Chase scold me for doing it. For me to break a boy's heart and to have the usual public break-up and to have Ryan and Chase and my best friends laughing uproariously behind me. I knew that I could run into Mr. Carson's arms, that I could race Sirius and James on brooms, that I could play pranks and have Remus scold me, that I could hurt someone emotionally with just the Marauders laughing so hard their sides could split, that I could move on. But the thing was, I couldn't. I don't think I ever will.

I was in the backyard, watching the sky, watching the sun stain it with pink and gold. It was a beautiful sight, really, but I was too consumed in my thoughts to really linger on the thought of its natural beauty. A pitcher of pink lemonade was on the small round table beside the wooden yard chair. Next to the pitcher was a tall glass full of the pink juice, but it remained untouched. I wasn't thirsty, despite the heated beating sun, at its hottest point, falling like a blanket over my legs and up to my waist.

I could remember _him_ so clearly. His dirty blond hair, un-boyishly long to the ends of his ears, falling over his electric blue eyes. He had the best smile I've ever seen. I felt my throat close up at the thought of him. He was a liar. A dirty conniving cheat. But I still loved him so. How could I feel that to someone who betrayed me? Did I really love him so passionately that throughout the whole ordeal, after the damage he caused, after the wound cut so deep into my heart, I could still love him? It was crazy but it was true. Sirius and James told me numerous times to move on. I did try, I really did, but they didn't understand what it felt like to hurt so badly. I just wanted to die. I don't think that even James and Sirius' pain combined could hurt more than the uncomfortable twinge of anger and sadness I was feeling. I really hated _him_ for it but I still cared for him as though we were still young lovers. I remember what happened when I had found out Marcus Gunner's secret. When I found out that my lover was just spoon-feeding me lies, that Marcus Gunner did not really love me as he claimed to.

_"Hey love," I greeted, smiling broadly up at Marcus. It was fixed, but I was a great actress. He would believe my calm facade._

_"Hey midear." His smile was sincere and he sat across from me._

_"Here, have some juice." I handed him a goblet I had filled earlier. I had also spiked Veritaserum in it before he came, to learn where he was last night. He promised to meet me, to have us to go out for a night on our own, a night with just us._

_He looked at me suspiciously. "You already filled it up?"_

_"What? I can't be nice?" I kept out the exasperation in my voice, filling in the empty emotionless gaps with playful sarcasm. He smiled and took a swig of the pumpkin juice._

_Sirius glanced sideways at my face, looking eager. James bent over his eggs, toast and bacon to hide his grin. Even Remus had resumed reading, holding it up to his face to hide the wave of giggles erupting him._

_"Where were you last night?" I asked, my voice full of authority and seriousness. My face, I felt, was blank and oddly cold and to the point._

_"Shagging Sage."_

_James, who was taking a drink of orange juice, choked. Sirius let out a loud, angry growl, shaking with fury. Peter merely looked shocked. Remus' book fell out of his hands, tipping his bowl of porridge into _

_the air and having it land with a crash between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables. And me?_

_My heart died._

_I opened my mouth to give back the witty retort I always had. But instead I was gasping for air. I was close to crying. But not here. Not now. Not in front of everyone. I promptly snatched my bag and raced out of the hall. The minute I stepped out of the Great Hall, I broke down into tears._

I felt so bad after that happened. He was shagging my twin sister. My sister, Sage Colten. Sage was the worst person ever to walk in England. How could he fall for her? Sage and I were identical, but she had green eyes. I had brown. She was in Slytherin. Sage lived with her father, Mr. Colten, who was a high Ministry official. No one knew whether it was Sage or if it was me who lived with their blood father, but I'm glad I was raised with Joseph Rennis. Joseph Rennis was my father.

Due to the fact that I was raised with four brothers, two older and two younger, I was rowdy. My mother never approved and favored Sage above me. I loved Quidditch and Muggle football and being a tomboy. Sage liked reading Witch Weekly, getting make-overs, using all the money in her family's Gringotts vault and being a girly priss. She was spoiled, partially because her dad was paid a lot and partially because she was an only child. I had four siblings and my dad worked as a low-ranked Ministry person. I don't even remember what he does. All I knew was that he was paid very little. We had enough but a small bit short of scraping by. And all the money he made went directly for the mortgage of the house. This meant summer jobs. We earned the money we had to get anything for ourselves. This included school things. I was proud of that. What would happen to Sage when she got out of school and her hellish father died and she had no money for anything? She was so spoiled that she didn't know the definition of the word "work." She was a piteous excuse for a human being.

Just then, an owl swooped down and landed gently onto my shoulder. I took a thick roll of parchment from its leg and, when I had opened it, found a long letter from the Marauders. It had to be at least three pages long. Some parts were written in Remus' handwriting, or sometimes James', maybe Peter's at times and Sirius had little smart-ass responses next to what the others had said. I only read the first piece of parchment, though. On the end of the third page, I scrawled one word: thanks. Then I signed, near the thank-you, in my neat cursive. _Freidah_.


	2. The Silent Vow

**Title: The Porcelain Doll**

**Summery: Freidah Rennis thought she had it all - looks, the social life, the Marauders as best friends, Head Girl as one of her friends... That is, until one boy shatters her heart, leaving another to pick up the pieces.**

**Disclaimed - I'm pretty sure my first name is Justine, not Joanne. :) Therefore, I don't own anything here except for the characters who you don't recognize.**

**Author's Note - Sorry for the late timing. I've just been so busy lately! I've also signed up for NaNoWriMo, so please bear with me. 50k in one month... It'll need time so I may not be able to deliver chapters in a timely manner; maybe not until December.**

**This chapter is short, but I like keeping secrets from viewers to keep you guessing. The secret keeping is the cause of this shortness. Please excuse it! **

**I've also decided to have a little thing called a chapter jukebox; AKA, a list of songs that match up with the concept of the whole fanfiction. Nice? Gross? Yes? No? Please send in your ideas with your reviews!**

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I very well wanted to strangle Marcus Gunner. How could he do that? Broken, broken, broken heart.

I looked around me, watching the Gryffindor pride around me. I could hear the roaring of the lion in the banner, watching it rear up as it roared out. I combed through my hair with one swipe, before turning out to the window of my room. It was raining outside and though it was pouring, not thunder nor lightning lit the dullened sky. It was good to think on these weather conditions.

Jumping up and bounding to the door, I made my way down the many staircases to make it to the front door. I needed to think. The lake outside was a nice place to sit at, to watch the marine life float past as you thought.

Sighing, I threw the front doors open and immediately, the damp wind attacked me with flecks of rain. Leaping out and shutting the doors before anyone could tell me to come back inside, I raced over to the tree standing proudly beside the meadow of rocks by the shore of the lake. Brushing the hair from my eyes, I picked my way toward a particularly large rock, almost like a ledge as it reached out toward and over the water and yet did not even touch the surface.

Sitting with my knees drawn up to my chin, I breathed in the cool air and began to think.

And think.

And think.

And think again.

I could see James's figure striding across the lawn and I looked up immediately.

"Get inside, you wanker! It's bleeding freezing out here and you're not wearing anything but a t-shirt!" he shouted at me. I didn't budge.

"Did —" I began to ask, but he cut me off impatiently.

"Yes, yes, the reply came, you lovestarved pup!" he snapped over the howling wind. "Whatter you doing out here?"

"Thinking," I replied simply, getting to my feet and jogging back inside with him.

Once in the warmth of the indoors, I whipped out my wand and dried myself up, before making my way up the many stairs to my room.

I barged in, only vaguely registering that Remus had jumped in shock at my sudden appearance. Snatching the parchment in his hand, I looked at it, reading over the first few lines. I felt my cheeks grow hot with outrage.

"This is the letter _we_ sent!" I yelled. Remus made a "tsk!" sound with his tongue before grabbing the letter from my hands, flipping to the last page and pointing at the bottom.

I looked closely and saw a small "thanks," written there and the responder's signature. That was it? We were worried sick for our best friend and that was the reply we got? My cheeks were burning and I silently vowed that if no information was sent to us in the next three days, I would pay the crazy tosser a visit.

"Hey, chillax Pads. She's probably under pressure," Remus said reasonably. Pfft, yeah, suure, pressure. What type of pressure could the bloody tosser be under? She was sitting at home with nothing to do. Pressure? Pressure to do what? I forced a genuine-looking smile anyway.

"Yeah, 'kay." I replied. But I felt the silent vow burn in my mind in reminder.

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_**Whoo, there was one review and two alerts! More than I actually thought I would get, honestly!**_

_**Sorry for the age-long wait, again, but I'm here now, right? x **_

_Leent - My first reviewer! Thanks tons, love. First review and it means a lot!_

_**Review Review Review, my kiddies!**_


	3. A Surprise Visit

I am so sorry for the late update! But never fear, the fourth chapter should be up in a few days, so don't get your knickers in a knot ;)

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**Three Days Later**

I sighed. No contact with for three days. I missed Hogwarts. I had homework to catch up on, NEWTs to study for, a reputation to repair (or perhaps even rebuild)... But I knew that Hero was my first priority.

I sat in the backyard again, cradling Hero in my arms. She gurgled in her sleep and I smiled sadly as I watched her. She was more than just my baby girl, my daughter: she was also a reminded of what happened the night he coaxed me into bed.

I supposed a bit of a walk wouldn't hurt and I stood, holding Hero in my arms, steadying myself whilst evening the distribution of her weight in my arms, before stepping out into the sidewalk by crossing the dying lawn and carefully leaping over a row of home-grown plants. Landing lightly on the soles of my trainers in the middle of the sidewalk, I glanced up and down the sidewalk for nothing-in-particular. The sun was walking down a mountain of lavish crimson clouds to its bed someplace in the sky, and the moment it caught my attention, I could only smile.

"Aww, widdle Freidah's back," a voice cooed, the sound of it making my stomach churn uneasily. I turned my eyes to my left, where my eyesight captured a girl with blond hair bleached so extravagantly that it no longer looked like her natural hair color. She was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, flanked by a lone warrior with dark, professionally-styled brunette hair. Both girls had clean skin with fair complexions, and makeup added to their faces expertly but not so cleanly that it was done by a pro that very morning; no, it was definitely done by themselves. Upon looking at their hands, I could see the French manicures gleaming as it caught the final rays of sunshine for the day. When I stared back at their faces, I noted the perfectly plucked eyebrows, the naturally rosy cheeks of the brunette. And (I spied enviously) eyes that were not punishing their well-groomed selves for lack of sleep. Very much unlike my own face.

I could still clearly picture myself a year ago, my own reflection almost a carbon copy of them. I had no bloodshot eyes, matted hair, a lingering odor of milk, or an unruly appearance anyway and my first choice of clothing was by far more tasteful (I suppose). Flawless, you could say; but two hours of making sure I had been awake and picture-perfect before going to classes made you look like that. A year ago, my face was always happy, my hair clean and sweet smelling (and also tame, quite unlike this very moment) and I had done everything in my power to look as good as I could in my uniform without having to place even a toenail out of line.

But then is not now.

Now, this blond ditzy bimbo is standing nearby a very irritable Freidah Rennis with... Carol-the-dirty-fucking-backstabber's bike? Even with the familiar steely blue catching my eye, I felt my throat go dry and I couldn't help but feel helpless.

"Aww, look! A baby!" she exclaimed, glancing at Hero like a wolf about to pounce on its prey. I drew my baby girl to my chest, to be able to defend her if it was necessary. The brunette grinned at me, a catty look in her eyes.

"I daresay she's been threatened, Laura," said the blond's companion.

"I do believe she has, May," replied the blond. And then they both laughed heartily at my discomfiture, ignoring my silence. My feisty streak was slowly crumbling away, even as my pride did not. It killed me to be so powerless in front of them, especially when they were also deciding to taunt me about my daughter.

"Didn't know you were the type of crawl into bed with random people, Rennis," sneered Laura, obviously aiming to make me fight her. I felt my eyes narrow slightly (I had always found great offense to anyone who even gave the slightest hint that they thought me a whore or a slut) but I flinched anyway, being the helpless being I was at the moment. I just pressed my lips together and decided to take it rather than fight back. Laura and May appeared to have different plans in mind, however.

"What's wrong with you Rennis?" snapped May. Laura joined her and allowed a line of obscenities to trail from her mouth, but my ears blocked it out and caught none of the words.

"Has motherhood made you soft or something?" was all I caught. When I remained unresponsive, she let out a frustrated wail and pushed me backward. Hard. With my Hero still in my arms.

I forced myself to twirl about in midair, landing painfully on the concrete on my back. I felt an ache seep through my shoulders and I sucked in a breath, struggling past the obstacle of watering eyes. Unable to get up, I could only lay there blinking rapidly to clear my blurring vision, listening to the occasional car zooming by as an alternative to the sound of May and Laura's roaring laughter at my pain while I cursed whoever damned me to this horrible fate.

Then, following after a high-pitched squeal, I felt arms entangle me and I suddenly felt a whooshing sensation, as though I was being hugged by Ryan or Chase or Dad again. I felt safe, wanted, cared for, loved. I hadn't felt like that in a month or so. And it felt good, to feel that way.

Before I knew it, I was on my feet again and I quietly danced on the thought of how I had gotten to my feet. And, out of the blue, who else but Sirius Black should appear from behind me, the warmth escaping my heart and the yearning for it returned to replace it. I flashed him a very weak smile, my tired eyes trying their best to make me appear happy. He saw right through it.

I quickly staggered behind him, choosing to cower from the two catty girls than fight them with an infant in my arms. Dunno what I had to fear, though; both girls were staring saucer-eyed at Sirius, giggling girlishly and batting their long lashes at him flirtatiously.

"Whatcha doin' here, Siri? I thought you go to boarding school with that white trash," Laura asked, her voice conversational at first before it turned nasty as she shot me a momentary look, but she turned away as soon as possible, perhaps deciding that I just wasn't worth the time.

"I am her friend, y'know, and I don't take lightly to my friends being called 'white trash,' regardless of whether or not it's true," Sirius stated icily. Laura was oblivious to the white hate in his voice and laughed a light, tinkling simper.

"We weren't doing anything, silly Siri," May piped up, swooping down on Sirius with a synthetic look of utmost innocence on her face, her lips tugged up with her devilish smirk, pressing her body to his, her hands to his chest. To my great amazement, Sirius pushed her away, looking thoroughly disgusted.

"Pushing her down, while she's holding a baby, is hardly nothing," he retorted with a scowl.

"She's just clumsy; Carol used to tell me how she would complain about all the time," Laura added. I would have started thinking of ways to destroy Carol when I next saw her, but my doing so was interrupted by a sudden glare from both of the Barbie-wannabe's, as though urging me to stay silent "or else." But the words came out faster than my brain could process what the look meant;

"She pushed me."

Before the words had completely left my lips, I felt my right cheek smarting from a sudden smack, undoubtedly from Laura. Her eyes were on fire, but they were nothing compared to Sirius's.

He lunged forward, grabbing her wrist and jerking her toward him with a sudden violence. It seemed to strike her now that he wasn't playing games, that he didn't like her to any degree...

That he was 100 serious Sirius. For now.

"Don't. Touch. Her." His words were quiet, surely beyond mad now. There was a fearfulness that had plagued Laura's eyes, something I reveled in inside.

"I said -- DON'T TOUCH HER!" he bellowed, grasping her shoulders suddenly, shaking her with his fury. Laura cringed, nodding mutely in a frenzied manner. When he grudgingly released her, he had shoved her into the edge of the deserted road where none of the cars could touch. Shooting her a cruel glare, he turned around slowly, muttering, "Get out of my sight, Cauldwell. And take your pathetic sidekick Gobson with you."

Laura scrambled to her feet, ignoring Carol's bike on its side a driveway, and raced to her house as quickly as she could, following shortly by May, who was just as shocked at Sirius's different behavior.

Still seething, Sirius turned toward me, placing a hand on my shoulder. He gently rotated me about, glancing sideways at me for a moment.

"We need to talk."

He left no room for denial.


End file.
